By Thomas A. Parmalee
If you build it, they will come.
Believing in that misguided notion is why some cemeteries fail, according to John Bolton, vice president of operations for development at Park Lawn Corp. and now the president of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.
But all it would take is tweaking the mantra to produce an entirely different outcome. The wording Bolton suggests is this: If you build it and market it correctly, they will come.
“Some say cemeteries fail because we don’t educate the consumer on what they can do – especially with cremation,” he said. “But we need the right things to educate them on … it’s hard to educate people about a piece of dirt.”
Telling someone they should inter the cremated remains of their mom or dad at your cemetery because you have beautiful grass “is not enough,” Bolton explained.
“Every cemetery that is successful – it’s not only because they educate people through their marketing, but it’s also because they have something to market,” he said. “For instance, here is a beautiful nature trail that you can wind through and place your loved one … it’s hard to educate them if you don’t have anything to show them.”
Struggling cemeteries, he said, often fit into two categories:
- They do not have anything to show people.
- They have something to show, but they can’t figure out how to communicate its value to the public.
Another major shortcoming revolves around a lack of curb appeal, which is the first thing Bolton looks at when he’s evaluating a cemetery.
“I always say that people don’t buy the steak, they buy the sizzle,” he said. “If it looks good, they want to be a part of it.”
And so it is with cemeteries: “Curb appeal is huge,” he said. “Whether it’s the front entrance or an office area, or a cremation garden – it’s bigger than people think it is.”
To drive that point home, he explained that when he started in the cemetery business, he thought that sales for a cremation garden, for instance, would depend 80% on the product and 20% on what the area looked like.
“Now, I focus on what the garden looks like — this accounts for 80% — and 20% on the product … families will find something they like if an area looks good,” he said.
Asked what else cemeteries must get better at, Bolton noted that families that choose cremation still aren’t always presented with all their options.
“Cremation is simply a choice of disposition — it’s no less meaningful than full-body burial,” he said. “But we still hear people say, ‘They just chose cremation,’ as if it somehow means less. We hear that all the time.”
These are the types of challenges Bolton thrives on solving, which helps explain why he got involved in cemetery operations as a side gig more than 30 years ago and never left.
A Case of Beer and a Bucket of KFC
Like many others in the cemetery business, Bolton got involved because of family: Former in-laws owned Washington County Memory & Cremation Gardens in Johnson City, Tennessee.
“Her dad needed help,” Bolton said. “In the beginning, it was with mausoleum entombment … I helped him lift a casket into the fourth level.”
His hard work paid off in the form of a case of beer and a bucket of KFC, which Bolton jokingly calls his first paycheck working in the cemetery business.
A month later, he joined as an official employee working in the maintenance department.
“My career started with a lawn mower and a shovel,” he said. “I cut grass, dug graves, maintained the grounds, prepared sites for monument installations — pretty much everything a cemetery worker is called upon to do.”
Those experiences provided the foundation for later roles in preneed sales, family service and administration.
Through multiple ownership transitions, Bolton stayed on at the cemetery.
“First, it was sold to a group in Georgia, then it was sold to a group in Texas, and then it was bought by SCI … I went along for the ride,” he said. “Every acquisition and sale was an opportunity to grow and learn.”
Even though Bolton was working on earning a master’s degree in education from East Tennessee University as he began working at the cemetery in 1988, somewhere along the way, he pushed aside his dreams of being a college professor and embraced deathcare as his destiny.
“I had wanted to get a doctorate, but when I started working in cemeteries, I liked the challenge,” Bolton said. “The more I studied teaching, the more I realized it was going to be very repetitive … you establish a lesson plan and execute it – and it would not change much over the years.”
That type of repetition seemed like working on an assembly line, which did not appeal to Bolton.
“Cemeteries offered something different every day, and with different cemeteries came different challenges,” Bolton said. “Then you add in the human element where you are working with families at the worst time of their lives … it offered me an opportunity to take what I learned in education and transfer that to helping the cemetery internally and also externally with families.”
Tackling New Challenges
Eventually, Bolton had the opportunity to join Matthews International as director for cremation gardens and special projects in 2007 — and he took it.
“Matthews had just acquired a granite business, and it saw the opportunity for serving cemeteries with cremation developments,” he said.
It was a match made in heaven, as it gave him the opportunity to leverage his cemetery expertise to help Matthews grow the granite side of its business.
Bolton was one of the primary architects of Matthews International Cremation Destinations Gardens, which designs and builds cremation gardens of all sizes for cemeteries around the country. The offering can include any combination of in-ground cremation memorials, customizable granite pedestals, benches and boulders, bronze statues and granite columbaria and niches to memorialize loved ones.
“We were designing cemeteries within cemeteries and sourcing the granite and bronze through Matthews,” Bolton said.
In 2015, however, Bolton teamed up with a former Matthews International colleague, and longtime friend, Jeff Kidwiler, to join him at Blackstone Memorial, a wholesale memorial company providing products and services to cemeteries and funeral homes.
“We saw an opportunity to grow what I was doing with Matthews and take it to the next level,” Bolton said. He joined the company as president, taking on a leadership role that extended beyond day-to-day operations and giving him a vested interest in the company’s long-term success.
Kidwiler, who remains at Blackstone as president, recalls that when he met Bolton about 15 years ago at an ICCFA event, he left thinking he’d met someone genuinely passionate about the profession. “What struck me most was not only his enthusiasm, but also his deep knowledge of virtually every aspect of cemetery, cremation and funeral service operations,” he said.
When Matthews International acquired Kidwiler’s family business, he found himself working alongside Bolton starting in 2009, where he saw firsthand his leadership abilities, work ethic and commitment to serving both customers and colleagues. “Although I departed Matthews in 2011 to begin my service as president-elect of ICCFA, our professional relationship and friendship continued to grow,” he said.
When Kidwiler founded Blackstone Memorial in 2012, he hoped that someday the timing would be right for Bolton to join his team. “A few years later, that opportunity presented itself, and his impact on our company was immediate,” he said. “John’s industry knowledge, strategic thinking, and dedication to excellence have been instrumental in helping Blackstone grow and better serve our customers.”
Bolton said he enjoyed his time at Blackstone.
“It was nice going from a corporate entity to having my own company and working with Jeff,” he said.
From Blackstone to Park Lawn
Being part of Blackstone was “a great experience” — one that allowed Bolton to build and nurture great relationships throughout the deathcare profession.
“It was interesting to see the inner workings of putting together developments at a cemetery: Going from the conceptual design to site development to purchasing the granite,” he said. “I was responsible for every aspect of those things … I negotiated the price of granite, negotiated with contractors and came to understand permitting.”
A good portion of Bolton’s work focused on serving one of Blackstone’s most important clients: Park Lawn Corp.
“I did design concepts for their cremation areas,” he said. “Anything involving inventory development, I was doing that for Park Lawn.”
It got to the point where Bolton found himself working almost exclusively on Park Lawn projects. “Having me spend even 20% of my time with other clients was taking me away from what I needed to do with Park Lawn,” he said.
In March 2023, he left Blackstone to join Park Lawn as its vice president of operations for development where his role goes beyond cemetery operations.
“My responsibility is helping shape what comes next for the organization,” Bolton said. “That includes everything from inventory development and property expansion to new facilities and memorialization projects. If we’re building something that will serve families for years to come, whether it’s a care center, a cremation garden, or an entirely new offering, I’m guiding that process from planning through completion.”
As far as what it’s been like working with Park Lawn, Bolton says the company has not disappointed him.
“What stands out to me about Park Lawn is that the focus has always been on families,” he said. “We’ve gone through different chapters as an organization, but that hasn’t changed. Serving families the right way remains the priority. I can’t speak for every company in our profession, but I know that’s the culture here, and it’s a tremendous advantage.”
As to what makes him a great fit for his role at Park Lawn, it’s because he has “peeked behind the supplier curtain” and has detailed insights on pricing and how companies operate, he said.
“I am quickly able to tell if something is out of line or not,” he said. “I have done it from the ground up – from an owner’s perspective, a supplier’s perspective and from a manager’s perspective.”
Asked about the advice he’d give other deathcare operators — particularly cemeterians — Bolton said they should leverage supplier relationships.
“There are a lot of great suppliers in this profession, and many of them can be valuable partners in helping you grow your business,” he said. “But like any business relationship, it’s important to understand everyone’s objectives. Listen to the advice, ask questions and do your homework. The key is making sure a recommendation is truly the right fit for your families and your business — not simply the newest product or idea being presented.”
Taking Over as President if the ICCFA
Over the years, Bolton has taken quick advantage of any educational opportunities available to learn more about the profession.
“Whether it was ICCFA, CANA or the National Funeral Directors Association or a cemetery association in Tennessee, I went to anything I could get my hands on,” he said. “Through those educational opportunities, I would sit down one-on-one with people and learn from them.”
One of the first national events he attended was ICCFA University, which is where he forged a strong bond with men like Kidwiler, Gary O’Sullivan and Mike Burke, who, at the time, was the chancellor of ICCFA University.
“Here I am, Lord, send me,” Bolton said. “I have taken that attitude — that I want to grow in this profession. If I do it, I will do it all the way.”
That attitude has brought him so many opportunities.
“When I stepped up and said, ‘I can teach a class,’ they let me,” he said. “When I said I could speak at a convention or take on a new challenge, they gave me the chance. I worked hard to honor the trust they placed in me.”
Over the years, he’s stepped up his involvement with the ICCFA, serving as chairman of the Sales and Marketing Committee, which converted the ICCFA Wide World of Sales Conference into the DEAD Talks, which follow a TED Talk format.
Bolton also played a significant role in the creation of ICCFA University’s College of Hospitality & Customer Experience and Graduate School, the ICCFA Monthly Webinar Series and the transformation of the annual convention into the ICCFA Experience.
He describes himself as an “idea guy.”
“Many of these ideas started as concepts that I would bounce off other people,” he said. “I’m not saying the ICCFA Experience was solely my vision, because it absolutely was not. It was a collaboration discussed during strategic planning meetings, but I was fortunate to be part of the team that helped shape it and bring it to life.”
Bolton believes many of his ideas stem from a willingness to view the profession through the eyes of the customer rather than from an internal operational perspective.
“I’ve always tried to look at what we do through the lens of the families and consumers we serve,” he said. “When you do that, you often see opportunities and challenges differently.”
Kidwiler has long thought that Bolton would make a great ICCFA officer and future president, but when he was serving the association in a leadership role, ICCFA bylaws prevented such a thing, as vendors were excluded from serving as full board members and officers, and Bolton was classified as a vendor.
“When I became ICCFA president in 2012, one of the initiatives we pursued was modernizing the association’s governance structure to better reflect the diverse expertise within our profession,” he said. “Through a bylaw amendment, ICCFA created a limited number of vendor board positions and established a pathway for qualified vendor representatives to advance into officer roles and ultimately the presidency.”
Bolton became the first vendor member to successfully navigate that path, Kidwiler said. “He earned the respect of his peers through years of dedicated service, including an extended tenure as vice president of education, where he helped shape educational programs that have benefited countless ICCFA members,” he said.
At the ICCFA Experience in April 2026 in Fort Worth, Bolton was named ICCFA president. In this role, his focus will be on education, as it has driven so much of what he’s accomplished, he said.
Kidwiler can’t think of a better person to lead ICCFA as president.
“His journey from working in the field at a cemetery to leading the world’s largest association serving cemetery, cremation, and funeral service professionals is both inspiring and well-deserved,” he said.
Kidwiler continued, “What makes this accomplishment especially meaningful is that John’s journey was never about representing a particular business segment. Rather, it was about representing the profession as a whole. His experience spans nearly every aspect of cemetery, cremation, and funeral service operations, and he has consistently demonstrated a commitment to advancing the interests of all ICCFA members. His election as president is not only a testament to his individual leadership but also reflects the association’s recognition that great leaders can emerge from every corner of our profession.”
Nadira Baddeyiyanage, executive director of the ICCFA, noted that from the first time she met Bolton more than 25 years ago, it was clear that his dedication to the ICCFA and the profession at large was truly exceptional.
“John is a leader who naturally operates outside traditional boundaries, consistently bringing brilliant, bold ideas to the table and demonstrating the rare courage required to take calculated risks and champion new initiatives,” she said. “Working in lockstep with our planning committees, John has been a driving force and creative mind behind the evolution of DEAD Talks, as well as the newly rebranded ICCFA Experience.”
One of the reasons he’s so successful is that he’s a “visionary leader whose heart is fully invested in making a meaningful difference in our profession,” Baddeyiyanage said. “He possesses a unique gift for seeing far beyond the immediate horizon and charting a compelling, forward-looking course for our shared future. By blending bold imagination with unwavering dedication, he inspires colleagues and peers alike to turn ambitious goals into reality.”
Baddeyiyanage has fond memories of working with Bolton over the years. “From those early days to the present, the ICCFA team has maintained a beautiful synergy with John,” she said. “We continually look forward to his fresh ideas, innovative spirit and the progress we create together. In these challenging and rapidly evolving times for deathcare, there is no better leader than John Bolton to wholeheartedly guide our association into the future.”
Welton Hong, the founder and CEO of Ring Ring Marketing, has been impressed by how Bolton is “the same person privately as he is publicly.” He explained, “He is approachable, genuine, thoughtful and deeply committed to helping move the profession forward. Beyond ICCFA and deathcare, I’ve also had the chance to get to know John personally over many great meals together, and one thing that always stands out is how much he values relationships and conversations with people. He’s the kind of leader who takes the time to listen, connect and make others feel valued. That authenticity, combined with his professionalism and passion for the industry, is a big reason why he will be such a tremendous asset as ICCFA president.”
In his role as president, Bolton aims to sharpen his focus on education, which includes the idea that “culture still matters in this profession.”
He also wants deathcare professionals to realize that they are struggling to meet people where they are today.
“I think our profession sometimes becomes so focused on how we’ve always operated that we lose sight of how families want to be served,” he said. “Families today are looking for personalization, flexibility, authenticity and meaningful experiences. Our job isn’t to convince them to fit into our model; it’s to adapt our model to better serve them. That’s where ICCFA can play an important role by providing education, new ideas, and practical tools that help professionals evolve.”
Another message he’s excited to share is a personal tagline of sorts: Learn to guide, not just provide.
“We must guide them and discover what is meaningful for them instead of just providing option after option,” he said.
He also has some advice for cemeteries seeking to appeal to younger workers.
“The younger generation is built on technology,” he pointed out. “The more we can embrace technology, the more we can make people want to be a part of what we do, the more they will embrace the profession.”
That means presenting cemetery options in sales should be done digitally — not with a three-ring binder.
“I think the more we can lean into what their strengths are — and their strengths are not the strengths of someone 20 years ago — the better off we will be,” he said. “We need to lean into that more than we are.”
A Man of Faith
While charging ahead to serve others, Bolton has remained grounded in his faith.
It’s easy to say, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, or I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” Bolton said.
Instead, he’s turned to Isaiah 6:8, which in the King James Version of the Bible reads:
“Also, I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Who shall I send, and who will go for us?
Then said I, Here am I; send me.”
The phrase “Here am I; send me” has become one of the Bible’s most well-known expressions of calling, service and willingness to act — and it embodies how Bolton strives to live his life.
“I have always been willing to serve,” he said. “From day one in this profession, I have asked, ‘What can I learn?’ and ‘What can I do?’”
If there’s ever been a challenge, he prides himself on volunteering to try to figure it out. “I am a sponge,” he said. “Here I am, send me, give me a shot … I live my life like that — personally and professionally.”
He’s been lucky to have Lori Salberg, who he married in 2022 and now goes by Lori Bolton, by his side in both areas — at home and at work as director of training and development at Park Lawn, for several years.
“We met at a cemetery conference many years ago,” Bolton said. “We’ve always been kind of side by side in this profession since we met – and we were married at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles.”
Bolton jokes that Lori is “ten times smarter than both of us combined,” but the admiration behind the comment is unmistakable.
“She’s one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met,” he said. “The way she thinks, learns and approaches challenges is extraordinary.”
In fact, Bolton said he occasionally finds himself trying to slow her down.
“She’s always moving forward, moving at the speed of light,” he said. “Her knowledge, her experience and her drive are unlike anything I’ve seen. She’s constantly looking for ways to improve, and that kind of energy is incredibly inspiring to be around.”
For Bolton, the cemetery profession has never been simply about selling spaces or maintaining grounds — it has always been about creating places and experiences that help families find meaning, connection and comfort.
From earning a case of beer and a bucket of KFC for helping with a mausoleum entombment decades ago to leading one of deathcare’s most influential organizations, his career has been shaped by a willingness to say “yes” to challenges, embrace change and keep learning.
His message has always remained consistent: Cemeteries cannot afford to stand still. They must evolve, communicate clearly and meet families where they are.
And if Bolton has his way as president of the ICCFA, the profession’s future will belong to those willing to step forward and say, “Here am I; send me.”
Follow CemeteryVision.com on LinkedIn
Follow CemeteryVision.com on Facebook
Follow CemeteryVision.com on X
